Scientific Fashion: Beards are Gross

That bird’s nest on your face is a breeding ground for bacteria!

 

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OK, boys?  The next time I say go shave that bird’s nest on your face, here’s why: it’s scientifically proven  to be unclean and disgusting.  And you don’t even have to eat your ramen out of it to make it that way — it just is!

According to Birmingham trichologist consultant Carol Walker, your beard may be less a sign of stoic masculinity and more of a literal petri dish.  The problem is that all those thick, coarse hairs will trap bacteria in it, possibly making you or people around you sick.  (Ew!)  Real slobby guys could get food, drink — mayonnaise (Gross!)  — stuck in it which can go rancid (ijtualimm*!).

A lot of men who you may bring up these inconvenient truths to will probably laugh it off and say something like, “Well, I wash mine!”  Unfortunately for them, a U.S. Army microbiologist, Manuel Barbeito found out in the 60’s that bears could spread disease easily and that washing did not do a suitable job to rid them of infectious diseases.

I am a cosplay girl at heart, as I’ve grown up in a house where we read manga and watch anime like Mormons read bibles.  But the only way I am going to even let that biohazard anywhere near me, especailly my face, is going to require something pretty fancy!  Maybe something like this:

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